Porsgrunn Blues

The two typical things in Porsgrunn/Telemark are: bunad and borelliosis. So to adapt, I tried to get both. But when I heard the price of a bunad, I just said to myself: Well, I’ll stick with borelliosis, that is cheaper. But I bought myself a tiny ribbon at Extra, in the colours of Norway. Because I could not go naked on 17. of May, the constitution day!

Bunad is the traditional dress in Norway, that serves as festivity clothing. Borelliosis is a disease conveyed by the wood-tick. The sickness had the effect that my brain forgot how to write in German, so this text is in English.

Porsgrunn to me is a parade town, or a town full of parades. It started with Constitution Day on 17th of May (parade and bunad). Then, just one week later, they have „Barnas Dag“, the „children’s day“ (parade and disguises). All the kindergardens have their own topic, like pirates or deep sea. Then, less than one week later, Porsgrunn International Theatre Festival (PIT). (parade and – for once! – beer).

No wonder that the whole period for me had a carnivalesque feel. It was like all hell has to break loose before the summer. I began to have a dark suspicion: If this is the climax of it all, then summer will be boring.

Well, I was right.

But that is when my borelliosis comes into play. It is sending me on a rollercoaster ride! My concentration went to pieces, and so did my mood. I had never thought that antibiotics could make you happy — but mine did! – After the 10-day cure I slipped back into depression. Maybe I should try coke – but then there is the thing with the money… But that we will talk about later.

Anyway, my mood just fit the surroundings here: Porsgrunn used to be an industrial town, but its days of glory are over. Norsk Hydro (chemistry) and the porcelain (chemistry and dust) factory have shaped the region. Now much of the industry is gone, and the buildings are empty, some hosting apartments at utterly Norwegian prices (alchemy and angel dust). But – the theatre festival had a really cool abandoned factory as a venue (rust and dust). We (under the guidance of Monumental Constructions, France) even built a live cardboard model of one of the cranes – which had to be torn down due to the utterly Norwegian weather…

I contracted another illness, a quite bad one – a job. This is not a given thing, as I had to learn. The job search was quite – excessive. Several companies demanded a Norwegian bank account to get a contract – and the banks need a work contract to open a bank account for you. And without a Norwegian phone number, you are very suspect for any company. If there is a link between digitization and exclusion? – No. Never. Never ever. Never, never ever.

After endless bus rides and queue-standing I finally got set up with my infrastructure. (The reason for my not having a bank account was: After some months of laziness I realized my problem and tried to get to the bank twice. Once the bank was closed (due to internal festivity) and the second time the road was closed (due to Northern Norway winter). And thus my fate was sealed.

Since then, I have literally been sitting on the dock of the bay and eating sandwiches, because the first salary still is not there. Or wait – it is there, but I cannot do online banking. Because to get online access to my bank account, I have to have online identification. And to have online identification, I need several salary payments. Got it? (Ok, it seems that there is another way, but I am expecting further endless bus rides and queue-standing, if not for the road that will probably be closed until I come).

„Det skal ikke være altfor lett“ is the laconic commentary of my surroundings – „It’s not supposed to be too easy“. Meanwhile, I try to release my violent fantasies through music-making. Currently, I am working on a rendition of Nirvana Unplugged in New York:

My bank / my bank / don’t lie to me / tell me where do you hide my money / In the pines / of Porsgrunn / where the sun don’t ever shine / I would gnaw at my smørbrød / the whole night through

I am also back to drawing caricatures. Some are shocked at my sarcasm, but if you have any problems with that, I will gladly set you up with my therapist and he will explain the situation. At an utterly Norwegian hour rate.

So I keep sitting on the dock of the bay for the time being. Telemark is the home of Henrik Ibsen and much of the beautiful Norwegian fiddle music. Maybe all these artists had contracted borelliosis, so I may be in the best of all companies, writing down my delirium here. Upper Telemark was also known for excessive drinking. Ok, to this habit I will definitely adapt – as soon as I get access to my bank account…

Links to the institutions mentioned:

https://du-verden.no/ – Seafaring and technology museum, Porsgrunn; where the model of legendary vessel „Skomvær“ is

https://pitfestival.no/ – theatre festival, Porsgrunn

https://www.bergenbyspill.no/ – A propos Teater, Bergen

https://olivier-grossetete.com/monumental-constructions – community projects in architecture, Marseille